Square People In A World That's Round
TWG requested additional clarification on the nature of lawfirm dating. So here we go!
Codes:
"0" - It's a bar requirement, like CLE credits.
"1" - Hell yah. Hit that.
"2" - Sure....but keep it on the QT.
"3" - Get caught, you're looking for a new job.
"4" - Get caught, you're out a bar license.
Scenario A - Partner/Partner = 1. At this juncture, everything is just about the biz, and nothing's going to happen if you're in a tryst with a fellow partner. No fallout I've ever seen. Different firms = 0.
Scenario B - Partner/Associate = 2. Doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. The biggest problems here is that the partners will think the partner is acting out of line, and the associates will think the associate is trying a new way to get on the partnership track (without billing). And firm infighting isn't something to be encouraged. But everyone will (usually) keep their jobs. Different firms = 1.
Scenario C - Associate/Associate = 1. Hell ya. If the opportunity were to arise, I would think you would get ostracized if you didn't. Different firms = 0.
Scenario D - Partner/Paralegal = 2. I think this is almost expected. Just can't flaunt it. Different firms = 0.
Scenario E - Associate/Paralegal = 3. As we learned here, this isn't favored by the partners. Especially if you impregnate the paralegal. That'd be a no-no. Different firms = 1.
Scenario F - Paralegal/Paralegal = 1. As long as no stains end up on the original documents, nobody cares. Different firms = 0.
Scenario G - Partner/Staff = 2. But only as long as it's the staff you work with. Don't be porking someone else's assistant. It's a rule. Different firms = 0.
Scenario H - Associate/Staff = 3. Yes. Also have seen this go down miserably. Turns out you shouldn't pork the runners. I imagine that if you could find a way to bill it (like screaming out MSJ strategy while you're doing it, or dictating during a BJ), then the partners won't mind. Different firms = 1.
Scenario I - Staff/Staff = 1. Yup, but proceed at your own "awkward post-relationship chaos" risk. As long as you're not throwing staplers at one another later on, no one will pay any mind. We have a pretty well-known one, and people are more schoolyard-curious than anything else. Different firms = 2 (this goes down b/c of privacy issues).
Scenario J - Partners, Associates & Paralegals/Client = 4. Ethical limitations (looks like you're accepting sexual favors for billed work.) Different firms = 1.
Scenario K - Staff/Client = 3. Too risky - partners won't want their bills not paid because of some lover's quarrel. Different firms = 1.
Scenario L - Client/Client = 1. Whatever.
Scenario M - Paralegal/Staff = 2. I've never even heard of this, because there's a pretty sharp division between the two groups. I would expect people to be clique-punished if they did this. But job is safe. Different firms = 1.
I think I got all the permutations. Any questions?
Codes:
"0" - It's a bar requirement, like CLE credits.
"1" - Hell yah. Hit that.
"2" - Sure....but keep it on the QT.
"3" - Get caught, you're looking for a new job.
"4" - Get caught, you're out a bar license.
Scenario A - Partner/Partner = 1. At this juncture, everything is just about the biz, and nothing's going to happen if you're in a tryst with a fellow partner. No fallout I've ever seen. Different firms = 0.
Scenario B - Partner/Associate = 2. Doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. The biggest problems here is that the partners will think the partner is acting out of line, and the associates will think the associate is trying a new way to get on the partnership track (without billing). And firm infighting isn't something to be encouraged. But everyone will (usually) keep their jobs. Different firms = 1.
Scenario C - Associate/Associate = 1. Hell ya. If the opportunity were to arise, I would think you would get ostracized if you didn't. Different firms = 0.
Scenario D - Partner/Paralegal = 2. I think this is almost expected. Just can't flaunt it. Different firms = 0.
Scenario E - Associate/Paralegal = 3. As we learned here, this isn't favored by the partners. Especially if you impregnate the paralegal. That'd be a no-no. Different firms = 1.
Scenario F - Paralegal/Paralegal = 1. As long as no stains end up on the original documents, nobody cares. Different firms = 0.
Scenario G - Partner/Staff = 2. But only as long as it's the staff you work with. Don't be porking someone else's assistant. It's a rule. Different firms = 0.
Scenario H - Associate/Staff = 3. Yes. Also have seen this go down miserably. Turns out you shouldn't pork the runners. I imagine that if you could find a way to bill it (like screaming out MSJ strategy while you're doing it, or dictating during a BJ), then the partners won't mind. Different firms = 1.
Scenario I - Staff/Staff = 1. Yup, but proceed at your own "awkward post-relationship chaos" risk. As long as you're not throwing staplers at one another later on, no one will pay any mind. We have a pretty well-known one, and people are more schoolyard-curious than anything else. Different firms = 2 (this goes down b/c of privacy issues).
Scenario J - Partners, Associates & Paralegals/Client = 4. Ethical limitations (looks like you're accepting sexual favors for billed work.) Different firms = 1.
Scenario K - Staff/Client = 3. Too risky - partners won't want their bills not paid because of some lover's quarrel. Different firms = 1.
Scenario L - Client/Client = 1. Whatever.
Scenario M - Paralegal/Staff = 2. I've never even heard of this, because there's a pretty sharp division between the two groups. I would expect people to be clique-punished if they did this. But job is safe. Different firms = 1.
I think I got all the permutations. Any questions?
posted by Bliss at 1:21 PM
8 Comments:
Basically, what you're saying is, I have to go to law school before I can get any associate ass. Why didn't someone tell me this before?!? @$(&@$^
Sorry - look at it this way. All the associate ass you could ever need is available to you...at another firm. ;)
But how do I meet all that ass? Therein lies the problem. Plus, they seriously are all engaged or gilfriended out here.
1) Just call, pretending that you're setting up a teleconf - then plead a mea culpa and comment on how hot they are on their web pic. :)
2) Give them the Clementine speech:
"Look, man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high maintenance. So I'm not going to tiptoe around your marriage or whatever it is you got going there. If you want to be with me, you're with me."
I need to see that movie.
Also, there are hot webshots of lawyers? Not that I've seen. Even the hot ones look bad, believe you me.
Absolutely - it's a great flick!
Well, look at mine - I'm a sexy bitch! Except, of course, for the big "NIMROD" over the face. ;)
So that actually is you? I thought I'd seen that somewhere before. Confused now.
It's discussed pretty early on in the archives - maybe that's where.
http://straitofmessia.blogspot.com/2005/03/one-that-talks-like-doolittle.html
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